Memoir Labyrinth, Write Through Series: No. 4

Writing through emotional pain is today’s focus. Physical pain (Remember the slap in the face mentioned in the last post?) can be rife with emotional pain. Incidentally, one woman sent me a message, after post #3, saying that she called the slaps she received from her mother “love taps.” That’s an interesting way of looking at that topic, and I reasoned from her further remarks that she worked out her emotional pain by writing through it.

And then there is emotional pain that has nothing whatsoever to do with physical pain. It’s a not a slap or a bruise to the body, it’s a wound to the mind and spirit.  One that if often kept secret. The anguish of this kind of emotional pain is debilitating, in fact, it is often more damaging to your spirit than is physical pain.

 One way to begin to heal from emotional pain is to “write through” it. Writing is one of the most cathartic actions you can take to regain your zeal for life and free yourself as you move toward health. You can find hundreds of books and articles on the healing power of writing memoir. Google searches work, too.

The weight of emotional pain makes the journey through life more difficult than it has to be for many people. It takes strength and courage to look deeply at those events and the individuals who caused you pain – pain that lingers today. But it is within your power to work it through.

Writing memoir, even if no one else ever reads it, can be your way to release the painful thoughts and images that keep you captive. Then, if and when you deem it appropriate, sharing your work with people you trust (friends, family members, and professionals) will bring further relief on the path to wholeness. When you trust others with your “secret,” you are no longer alone with the pain; it’s out in the open. Trust is the operative word here – communicate only with trustworthy individuals.

Emotional pain is filled with complex feelings ranging from loathing and disgust for the perpetrator to personal feelings of shame and humiliation. These distressing feelings are mitigated when you feel other people’s empathy and understanding towards you, or when they relate similar experiences, and perhaps even how they came to grips with it. I know from my work with people writing memoir, writing is a powerful avenue to take.

 Begin by writing a short piece, a bio-vignette, and go from there to get it all out. It is in your hands – write now.