“Dear_______,

My mother’s death last fall prompted a plethora of remembrances. Through the tears of sorrow, bright rays of sunlight streaked as my sister and I talked of things recalled—great memories we enjoyed and hope to keep alive within our family.

Invariably, when I spoke to friends or relatives at that time, their memories too were jogged. And they’d tell little stories. Sometimes about my mother, but more often than not, their stories were about their mothers.

I found each story interesting. They ran the gamut from hilarious, passionate, bitter-sweet or sad, to amazing. Some were educational, others full of wisdom. These were stories to remember, but I soon forgot most of them.

So I’m hoping to coax these stories out of you now. Tell me a story. A tidbit. A trifle. What unique anecdote do you want remembered about your mother (aunt, godmother, grandmother, sister)?

A vignette—a lesson, superstition, some wisdom, recipes for life (or the stomach), witchcraft, poetry, letters, instructions, ancient feminine echoes, a family ritual, herbs for what ails, maybe something you take for granted that would delight me. It doesn’t need to be profound or lengthy, just an original tale of a page or two. Thank you, and have fun remembering…”

 I asked people to answer one pertinent question in just a couple of written pages. It was a provocative question that immediately registered thoughtfulness on every face or a contemplative pause in conversation in those instances where we were face-to-face. The question went something like this, “If you could tell just one small story that would capture your mother’s character and keep her spirit alive what would it be?”Soon I got answers in the form of short, true stories that I called bio-vignettes. I planned to put a good number of them together in a book that I would call, TellTale Souls: Keeping Spirits Alive One Story at Time.  

And I did write my first book back then, after teaching memoir writing classes where the participants persisted in asking me to put my method down in writing. I needed something to do while I was collecting stories, after all, and I thought the process of writing memoir needed to be demystified, and, what’s more it should always start with mom.

It was a small guidebook, Give the Gift of Story: TellTale Souls Essential Guide to Tap Memory and Write Memoir (now out of print). It was a good little book, but not nearly as good as TellTale Souls Writing the Mother Memoir: How to Tap Memory and Write Your Story Capturing Character & Spirit, published 3-31-12. Why is this one better?  Two reasons. First of all, I now had a decade of experience behind me. Secondly, in this new book I’ve brought together 40 bio-vignettes from my collection of stories that now encompasses a wide variety of people with very different ways of mothering. The bio-vignettes are woven throughout the book as inspired examples to lend credence to my creative writing method of unique instruction, mindful prompts, and deep-thinking exercises.  The wonderful result is that now these TellTale Souls have their stories published in volume 1, and I couldn’t be more thrilled for them.  A choir of voices emerged from those interesting souls intent on “Keeping Spirits Alive.”

 The Story Woman continues asking daughters and sons to write compelling  stories about their  mothers.  You’re welcome to send yours to me. I’d love to read about how you see and depict the essence of your mother.

Authors and Writers

 “Speed-Dating” by the Bay at our 9^th Annual Signature Event

Back by popular demand:  Keynote Luncheon (see below)

MEET-THE-AGENTS & ACQUISITION EDITORS

Lynn Henriksen, Event Chair, lynn(at)telltalesouls.com 

Saturday, March 24^th, 2012 • 9:00 a.m. – 12:00 p.m.

Sinbad’s Restaurant, Pier 2, San Francisco

$50 WNBA member, $65 non-member, or $75 at the door

(Bonus:  Coffee and “How to Pitch Training” included from 8:00 to 9:00 am)

Space is limited (we sold out last year) – REGISTER SOON

Register via PayPal at www.wnba-sfchapter.org or mail your check made out to WNBA-SF to P.O. Box 244, Half Moon Bay, CA  94019

Meg Waite Clayton is the nationally bestselling author of The Four Ms. Bradwells, The Wednesday Sisters, and the Bellwether Prize finalist The Language of Light, all published by Random House’s Ballantine Books, and all major national book club picks. Her novels have been published in six languages, and her shorter work has aired on public radio and appeared in The Los Angeles Times, The San Jose Mercury News, Writers Digest, Runners World and other print and online magazines and news sources. A graduate of the University Michigan Law School, she lives with her family in Palo Alto, and is at work on a fourth novel, The Wednesday Daughters, to be published in 2013. www.megwaiteclayton.com

This year’s list of Agents and Acquisition Editors are posted on our website.

Event sponsor:  Women’s National Book Association – San Francisco

WNBA-SF is a non-profit organization that fosters professional development and exposure of our members through a variety of book-related programs, workshops, and hands-on opportunities to make valuable contacts and connections that are beneficial at any stage of one’s career. WNBA-SF is part of a National network promoting the value of books and reading since 1917 throughout ten chapters stretching from coast to coast. Annual Membership is $45.

501(c) (3). 4061 East Castro Valley Blvd., #193, Castro Valley, CA 94552

I communicate with women of all kinds—friends, relatives, and strangers: some in my workshops; some on the street; some in groups I belong to; and some on social media. I observe people and the interactions between them.

After hearing women repeat sentiments about fading into oblivion as they age, I realized there is a theme reverberating among women in mid-life and beyond. Blurry lines frame the mid-life years it seems, since I’m hearing similar words from women in their forties on up to eighty-year-olds. Mostly, I sense that “forgettable women” feel a loss, perhaps bewilderment, a little pain, but not anger at being less visible. They accept, although they feel uncomfortably cut off, particularly from the opposite sex. They feel a separation of sorts, but not necessarily a negative one.

This is the gist of what I hear “on the street”:

• I’ve met a good friend’s husband three times now, and, on each occasion, he acts like it’s the first we’ve met.
• My adult children talk about me or for me, as though I’m not in the room.
• When I ask my husband how his day was, he’ll tell me about his day, but he doesn’t even think to ask me about mine.
• I used to walk down the street and get whistles from construction workers. I kind of miss that. Obviously, I’m not a feminist; I appreciate the difference between the sexes, and I miss being noticed by men.
• When I’m in a conversation with my husband, say at a cocktail party, he’s looking around the room, as if he’d like to find a younger woman to schmooze with. He’ll comment on how terrific someone 10 years my junior looks, but complimenting me on my appearance never happens.
• My husband talks about himself, is disinterested in what’s going on in my life, but never-the-less expects me to listen attentively to him.
• At the office, the young gals get by with murder, while we older gals do most of the work and, incidentally, without praise or appreciation.
• I knew I was over the hill, when young women quit talking when I entered the room. I look in the mirror and wonder who that old woman is looking back at me. Maybe I’d like to be even more invisible—that could be fun!
• When I see women trying so hard to stay young, I just shake my head. They’re just plain going down the wrong path by dressing in their “daughter’s jeans.”  They’re not fooling anyone but themselves. 

On the other hand, the transition through menopause, the empty nest, and the strength of character that often comes with age makes bright, shiny stars out of many women.

The following is talk from “the other side of the street”:

• I finally really like myself. I’m smarter, stronger, savvier, even sexier than I was 15 years ago. I like me! And so do a lot of other people.
• I refuse to respond to the myth that aging is unattractive in every way. Why, I’m in better shape today at 60 than I was at 30 and proud of it.
• I shed competition years ago. I now walk around with confidence knowing who I am, what I want, and what I don’t want. It’s liberating.
• I’ve discovered the joy of closer female relationships, those that I didn’t have time for when the children were at home. True communication happens between women as a rule; not so much with men in general.
• It used to bother me that some people would talk right through me, act like I wasn’t even around. I’m not one to be shoved aside, so I made the decision to surround myself with people who like me for me. I’m happy.
• Being less visible on many fronts is liberating. The games are out the window. I’m seen and valued for what I do and what I know. At this point in life, I believe wisdom is my most valuable asset—that’s rewarding.
• There’s no more playing the meek and mild roll for me. I speak my piece, while saying exactly what’s on my mind, gracefully.
• I’d have to be nuts to say I like the wrinkles and sags that multiply each year (not so pretty), but I love the space I have now, in my late fifties, to explore and even push the limits of my mind and body. There’s real beauty in the stretch.
• My true self is more visible than ever before, which turns out to be a plus all the way around. For those to whom I’m invisible, well, that’s their loss!
• Her eyes still have a deep glow, bright as stars burning from the inside out. This is how I see my 85-year-old mother. I only hope mine will burn as brightly. She’s the star ship still guiding my way.

The words in this last quote, from a woman on the bright side of the street, became the beginning of the story she wrote about her mother; another TellTale Soul was born.

Whether you feel like you’re fading into shadow or your star is burning brightly, sit down and write a short, true story. And start at the beginning of you—write to capture your mother’s character first. Through writing about the woman who gave you life, you’ll discover more than you can imagine about both your mother and yourself. Write the Mother Memoir.

As The Story Woman and a TellTale Soul, I can’t think of any place I’d rather be. Hope to see you sometime during the 5 day extravaganza, February 15-20, 2012.

Back to the order of the nouns. Fruition needs to stay put on the list, since it marks the end point, the fulfillment of the desire to transport your thoughts to paper through a heartfelt story or to Wow! the world with a brilliant 400 page page-turner.  However, whether to put intention or inspiration first on the list isn’t so cut and dried.  But, does it matter?  Let’s take a look at both intention and inspiration.

Is it your intention to write because you feel you must get a certain story told, or did a Tarot seer say she saw a book in you?

True story—Anne, a friend of mine, who claims she has no desire to write, said the Tarot pointed her towards authoring a book.  Now the idea is eating away at her, although inspiration hasn’t knocked, and she still has no intention to write a book.

Another woman, Joy, clearly had the intention to write a story about her mother, so she signed up for my class, “Keeping Spirits Alive.”  Joy wrote a terrific short and true Mother Memoir and became so full of inspiration that she’s now writing a novel.

So, where does this leave you? Do you need inspiration to weld its power first, as it did with me, since I had no intention to write a book way back when? Or are you filled with intention? You have a burning desire to write, but don’t know where the inspiration will come from?  It does matter.

I’ve spent the past dozen years inspiring daughters and sons to write The Mother Memoir.  If you have the intention, take a journey with me, and you’ll find the inspiration you need.  If you have inspiration, I’ll guide you along a path to find your voice, learn to capture character, and write a compelling story to fulfill your desire to write.

I BELIEVE. TELL IF YOU DO, TOO, AND WHY. 

     With love from The Story Woman to you thoughtful, amazing TellTale Souls

GHOST DANCE

I crept inside and found you

oh ghosts of persistent passion,

sacred dancers, anticipating me;

chant-like voices calling, cries summoning—

seeking communion…

Concentric rings of shadows embrace,

spirits soar united, receiving, awakening,

inscribing one more soul, ghost dance resumes;

mothers, sisters, daughters, the throng consumes—

we nod in recognition…

I chose the ethereal path seeking you, and

found ageless, fervid wisdom, thick liquid;

otherworldly things now manifest in core.

children of grace, voiceless ones, my time to guide

your dance…

All ghosts of mothers, burgeoning with radiance;

spirit flames now molten sterling strokes on canvas;

hands molding clay, forever blending, bending, gushing—

releasing memories encoded in repose, etched in seed—for you

progeny.

This poem was meant to inspire those daughters and sons hesitant to take first steps into

writing the Mother Memoir to become TellTale Souls.

It is most probable that the inner makeup of your characters has greater depth and complexity than you realize or give them credit for. The particulars you take in at first glance or the filter through which you view people you know intimately is riddled with blind spots. To write well, look at everyone you include in your stories as individuals unto themselves. Get into the heart of whom they are, without painting them into a box you thought fitting. Take off the blinders and look at the potential to incorporate a wider, more robust view of your characters while writing memoir.

When you search for the inner framework of characters (for example, when writing the Mother Memoir it would be mom’s essential spirit you’re out to discover), you can perceive their character in your mind’s eye, you can sense them, but most importantly, you can decide to let go your well-formed assumptions about them and let full, undistorted sight take over from a new, more inclusive vantage point.

To heighten understanding through action, take some time at this very moment to complete the short writing lesson I’ve outlined below. In this exercise you will tap into your memory bank and find a highly impactful incident in which the personal interaction you exchanged with someone is palpable. This is a practice designed to get you working your way out of “not seeing”—remember blindness is truly in the eye of the beholder.

• Bring the impactful incident into focus and write several paragraphs describing the emotional details of this incident as seen through your mind’s eye—just like you usually do.
• Next, stand firmly in the other person’s shoes and write a few more paragraphs from his or her specific vantage point—something you probably aren’t used to doing.
• Now, merge the emotional details you envisioned the other person experienced together with your perceptions and write a little more.

Were new vistas opened? Were you surprised by what you saw? Has the context of your well-formed picture of what occurred in this incident changed? Is your eye now beholding new shades of light and focus, previously not seen or related to? Now, go write like you’ve never written before.

Become a TellTale Soul by writing your Mother Memoir with help from The Story Woman.

Buds evoking what’s to come,

Nudging traces in pool of haze, marking time,

Just grazing.

Nectar naively taunts the lazy tongue,

Seeking shadows bent in silhouette.

Faded light to bright the now begun.

Mind grasping, gasping for perception

 In collection.

Spike the feast, rattle the gourd,

Reckon whorled resurrection.

Unknown known as inky marks traverse the run,

Find teasing taste of sweet vermouth

Or bitter truth.

Sometimes I remember to find

Reason coursing season.

The Story Woman asks you to write Mother Memoir by using the seasons of recall to let your memories roll into your unique bio-vignette.

It’s the 4th of July brought to us by the one, the only, Declaration of Independence.  I love the idea that our Founding Fathers were willing to die for our country’s independence. We’ve become of nation with too many so-called leaders, hungry for power, who live for the vote regardless of what is right for the people of the United States of America—a far cry from the group of people in 1776 who had true character and conviction and the courage to do the right thing by founding a country based on principles that made us strong and indebted to no one.

Would you sign your John Hancock or simply pin your hopes on a sparkler?  Beware the hot wire left in the grass; the burn makes for blisters that weep well after the flash fizzles.

Photo by Orin Zebest